A short excerpt from today 06-26-22

The truth is...

He never really cared about me.

It was about him and satisfying his ego, his desires, the whole time.

Even now, almost three years later, it has all stayed the same.

Same lies, same games, same lane.

I will always be 2nd, because he chooses to put me there.

I will always be runner up.

I will always be on the back burner.

In his world.

But that is why I left. Because I knew I needed more. Because someone like me, who is so loving, caring, and giving.

Full of all of this abundant energy that I am graciously giving out.

Not just anyone deserves that.

Even if that person is connected to me through children.

Children, I do love them very much,

And sometimes I wonder why him?

There has to be a bigger purpose.

I don't know what that is, one day I will know.

For now, I must accept where he has placed me.

And accept that we both must move on.

I have been the only one trying, from the beginning.

I should have let him fight for me.

I should have let him pursue me.

I should have let him prove himself to me.

But instead I gave chance after chance.

Forgiving 70x7

And even after everything, all the lies.

My heart remains open

And I can't help but wonder why